I will be using terms like “acceptable” “normal” and “common” in this post. I want to disclaim that they are just terms to make you aware that you are not alone in these feelings, emotions, thoughts, and perceptions.
If you are a new Mama, whether your first, second, or sixth baby.
Each can have a very different experience. If you have gone, or are going through any of these, please know, it is Okay!
It is common to cry, a lot, for no reason
It is normal to feel exhaustion like you have never known
It is acceptable to not brush your hair, shower, or change clothes for a few days. But try to just for your own self care
It is common to not feel an instant bond with your baby
It is normal to think your baby is going to die in every situation and check to see if they are breathing every 10 seconds
It is acceptable to have scary thoughts about your baby, visions of doing the unthinkable to them, and possibly yourself (I promise)
It is common to feel anxious, sad-like realllllly sad, scared, overwhelemed, stressed, and on edge all the time
It is normal to feel like you are just going through the motions, waiting for the next moment of sleep, the next feeding, the next diaper change
It is acceptable to give up breast feeding in a couple weeks if it hurts like hell, or if you are stressed and not producing
It is common to take all your emotions out on your spouse
It is normal to feel like you are a complete burden if you speak up about how hard this is
It is acceptable to absolutely fear having another baby and have to go through this again
And even though, these next few are normal & common, THEY ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE!
It is NOT acceptable to try to fight this battle alone
It is NOT acceptable to stay quiet when you have these feelings and thoughts
It is NOT acceptable to not ask for support, help, and compassion from loved ones
It is NOT acceptable to not say anything because you are scared they will take your baby
It is NOT acceptable to refuse treatment, because it is SO treatable
It is NOT acceptable to think you aren’t a priority during this time
It is NOT acceptable to believe you aren’t worth having a joyous, magical motherhood
Even if you aren’t currently going through any of this but have in the past, it’s not too late to speak up.
You are loved, you are supported, you are worth it, you are important, and you are enough. If you are experiencing anything that was mentioned in this article, please please please reach out to a loved one, a trusted professional, or me! I have resources, contacts, and practices that can help you during this tough time. But you have to make the choice to speak up, ask for support, and receive the help. It is OKAY, mama!
With so much love & gratitude,