Dylan is getting over a double ear infection.

John leaves for work at 5:15am.

I am launching the biggest virtual event I have done today.

My “day job” boss is off site, there is a LOT going on with the Hurricane approaching to ensure we are not marketing to those states. (We do have a heart).

On a normal day, I get Dylan ready in about 20 minutes, he sleeps until I wake him… car is already packed.. things are organized.

Today was like this.

Dylan woke up before I was done.

He wanted to sit on his bedroom floor and hold my hands and not move. I was at first worried and rushed but then embraced the moment because I realized he just wanted to sit in silence– my little energy baby, he unconsciously did what I have been teaching him for the last 15 months.

So I sat until he was ready to get up.

Then he did not want to sit in his highs chair to drink his bottle, so I sat with him as he drank..

I had to give him his antibiotics, he doesn’t like this- it breaks me heart but it has to be done.

There are amoxicillin pink stains on my white blouse. They are my badge of honor- even though I was the one causing him discomfort, he still poured his tearfilled eyes and pink mouth into my chest for consoling.

It was a true mama morning.

I felt guilt for leaving him, I felt guilt for being late to my job with so much going on. I felt guilt that my launch was not how I visualized because he was fussy last night. I felt mom guilt.

But then I came back to the moment and told myself, Dylan will be fine- he is with other babies and toys. My company will still run and make profits today. My Summit will still be successful and they can all relate.

We have to give ourselves a break.

Motherhood is messy, its not organized and perfect.

But it is full of love, joy, and beauty.

This is motherhood.