Dylan is getting over a double ear infection.
John leaves for work at 5:15am.
I am launching the biggest virtual event I have done today.
My “day job” boss is off site, there is a LOT going on with the Hurricane approaching to ensure we are not marketing to those states. (We do have a heart).
On a normal day, I get Dylan ready in about 20 minutes, he sleeps until I wake him… car is already packed.. things are organized.
Today was like this.
Dylan woke up before I was done.
He wanted to sit on his bedroom floor and hold my hands and not move. I was at first worried and rushed but then embraced the moment because I realized he just wanted to sit in silence– my little energy baby, he unconsciously did what I have been teaching him for the last 15 months.
So I sat until he was ready to get up.
Then he did not want to sit in his highs chair to drink his bottle, so I sat with him as he drank..
I had to give him his antibiotics, he doesn’t like this- it breaks me heart but it has to be done.
There are amoxicillin pink stains on my white blouse. They are my badge of honor- even though I was the one causing him discomfort, he still poured his tearfilled eyes and pink mouth into my chest for consoling.
It was a true mama morning.
I felt guilt for leaving him, I felt guilt for being late to my job with so much going on. I felt guilt that my launch was not how I visualized because he was fussy last night. I felt mom guilt.
But then I came back to the moment and told myself, Dylan will be fine- he is with other babies and toys. My company will still run and make profits today. My Summit will still be successful and they can all relate.
We have to give ourselves a break.
Motherhood is messy, its not organized and perfect.
But it is full of love, joy, and beauty.
This is motherhood.